Funny News Headlines, articles and even funnier I-m-trying-to-read-It reading
Nagaland State's rich cultural tradition of corruption, backdoor appointments, bogus teachers and fictitious qualifications, has finally begun producing incomparably extraordinary idiots. Talk of Journalism in Nagaland, the horrific news articles newspapers publish in the name of the great cause of 'journalistic information' seems a kick to the face of modern days' Shakespearean ambitions.
For those of you who grew up heroically declaring ‘Good, Gooder, Goodest’ in the face of great danger in ‘English two’ classes, I say you fought strong. In fact, you outdid me in the superlatives – I encountered major issues with "Far, Farer, Farest," you see.
The personal experience is a primary reason I do not rebuke our many unfortunate “graduates” and “MA” mambo-jambos who demonstrate natural talents at tripping on their ‘Has’ and ‘Have’ – or viciously pop an “Ain’t” right in the middle of an enthusiastic English oratory.
Trust me, I file political reports to keep my refrigerator well-fed and I know well enough that even (Nagaland's chief minister) Mr. Neiphiu Rio’s own Cabinet boasts of some truly exceptional talents when it comes to Naga English gibberish. The “education” our beloved School Education Department's klutzheads have imparted us is perhaps accountable for the paper-shriveling atrocities Naga society write to shout down their equally vociferous opponents.
Admitted, even some of us in the Media are no better off in skills requiring decent diction, syntax and projection, run and grammar. In fact, I confess, we cringe in embarrassment digesting the quality of parsing and diction in “edited” reports on Page-1 parsed by media persons we generally esteem.
Typing errors (or Typos) and editing oversights are forgivable – the biggest names in publishing are credited with some of the most horrific errors committed in the print. But errors in parsing? Unforgivable. Not even from Editors. Leave alone products of Naga teachers. I’m no better either, but as the street-smart say ‘I know my basic stuff, darling.’ So just continue reading.
We is the Nagas…
I mean, Nagas are an extraordinary people of the superlative order. When we aren’t celebrating festivals, we are fighting. And we fight in bad English.
As if things weren’t already worse.
We fight in English so toxic one is forced to believe that the Oxford Reference was written essentially for "Naga Journalism." Take for instance politics. Politics is not a way of life for us, apparently. It is our life – a people who, with the skill of gladiators shove colorful syntax, unruffled propositions and polio-stricken declarative into the face of the embattled government. You should examine some of the atrocities our political organizations declare in the hard unedited statements.
My English is more bester than your English
Wobbly, crazed English from the less-schooled deserves sympathy – in fact, come on, even love and kisses. But not so much for entities who represent a greater, more urbane social order – civil society leaders, political parties and governments. And many of our “students” unions definitely need a “Basic English Secretary” in their ranks.
Nevertheless, let us be appreciative at the very least that the land of the pork has finally found a common reason to reconcile and unite – wild, so-Naga English. Our wild English has virtually united our conflict ridden society now – many of our “graduate,” “students” and “educated” organizations (guess which ones), leaders of the government, civil society and the undergrounds and prominent cultural personalities (Nagas of course). And can we afford to overlook those odd copied-from-the-web articles from “research students” and Nagaland University's very own “research scholars?
Nagaland State's rich cultural tradition of corruption, backdoor appointments, bogus teachers and fictitious qualifications, has finally begun producing incomparably extraordinary idiots. Talk of Journalism in Nagaland, the horrific news articles newspapers publish in the name of the great cause of 'journalistic information' seems a kick to the face of modern days' Shakespearean ambitions.
For those of you who grew up heroically declaring ‘Good, Gooder, Goodest’ in the face of great danger in ‘English two’ classes, I say you fought strong. In fact, you outdid me in the superlatives – I encountered major issues with "Far, Farer, Farest," you see.
The personal experience is a primary reason I do not rebuke our many unfortunate “graduates” and “MA” mambo-jambos who demonstrate natural talents at tripping on their ‘Has’ and ‘Have’ – or viciously pop an “Ain’t” right in the middle of an enthusiastic English oratory.
Trust me, I file political reports to keep my refrigerator well-fed and I know well enough that even (Nagaland's chief minister) Mr. Neiphiu Rio’s own Cabinet boasts of some truly exceptional talents when it comes to Naga English gibberish. The “education” our beloved School Education Department's klutzheads have imparted us is perhaps accountable for the paper-shriveling atrocities Naga society write to shout down their equally vociferous opponents.
Admitted, even some of us in the Media are no better off in skills requiring decent diction, syntax and projection, run and grammar. In fact, I confess, we cringe in embarrassment digesting the quality of parsing and diction in “edited” reports on Page-1 parsed by media persons we generally esteem.
Typing errors (or Typos) and editing oversights are forgivable – the biggest names in publishing are credited with some of the most horrific errors committed in the print. But errors in parsing? Unforgivable. Not even from Editors. Leave alone products of Naga teachers. I’m no better either, but as the street-smart say ‘I know my basic stuff, darling.’ So just continue reading.
We is the Nagas…
I mean, Nagas are an extraordinary people of the superlative order. When we aren’t celebrating festivals, we are fighting. And we fight in bad English.
As if things weren’t already worse.
We fight in English so toxic one is forced to believe that the Oxford Reference was written essentially for "Naga Journalism." Take for instance politics. Politics is not a way of life for us, apparently. It is our life – a people who, with the skill of gladiators shove colorful syntax, unruffled propositions and polio-stricken declarative into the face of the embattled government. You should examine some of the atrocities our political organizations declare in the hard unedited statements.
My English is more bester than your English
Wobbly, crazed English from the less-schooled deserves sympathy – in fact, come on, even love and kisses. But not so much for entities who represent a greater, more urbane social order – civil society leaders, political parties and governments. And many of our “students” unions definitely need a “Basic English Secretary” in their ranks.
Nevertheless, let us be appreciative at the very least that the land of the pork has finally found a common reason to reconcile and unite – wild, so-Naga English. Our wild English has virtually united our conflict ridden society now – many of our “graduate,” “students” and “educated” organizations (guess which ones), leaders of the government, civil society and the undergrounds and prominent cultural personalities (Nagas of course). And can we afford to overlook those odd copied-from-the-web articles from “research students” and Nagaland University's very own “research scholars?
So what are the sufficiently potty things Non-Governmental Organizations in Nagaland write and submit to the newspapers – and our unruffled Editors happily publish them in our 'esteemed' newspapers all in the name of Journalism? Read here: Some newspaper goof-ups that found their selves on Nagaland's breakfast tables.
(This article was originally published in the author's column 'United Colors of Nagaland', in The Morung Express, 29th September, 2011)
©2012 Al Ngullie ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This article contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
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