Monday 6 August 2012

Funny Newspaper Articles: Stories that escaped the Editor

There are some irreversibly funny gaffes we the newspaper people continue to commit in the course of our journalistic endeavors. Blame it on stress, long hours or even bad office food. But truth sometimes comes in packages of appallingly ugly articles – even if mistyped or worst, misspelled. How stories are definitely manipulable! 

The ignominies listed here are some of the classic technical crimes – mostly mistyped or Spoonerisms – that escaped the prying eyes of The Morung Express Editor to land up in your morning tea, since 2005.

You see, dear reader, over the years I’d been collecting “specimens” of ‘transgressions’ that found place in the print. Our sins – journalists’ – are many and the irrevocability of the printed letter compounds our failings!

Examine these few time-tested sins committed by my fellow Morung journalists and Yours Truly as well. They all are from my “private collections,” all from The Morung Express (if we would, you can plain imagine what the state of the other dailies, perhaps).

The ‘things’ in the following are mostly unintentional spoonerisms owing to erroneous rephrasing by reporters during filing reports or simply straight quotes right from the mouths of the sources themselves – only to be murdered by typing.

Some of you may have come across a few of these horrors when you picked up the newspaper. Enjoy:

  • ‘The Naga Hoho has appealed to the pubic to put more effort…’
  • ‘…and said you are the kind of pubic the Nagas need at this crucial juncture’
  • ‘Nagaland Chief Minister Neiphiu Rio today asserted that the Cock upholds the identity of the Nagas…’
  • “Minister TR Zeliang appreciated the quality of the beauty contest and said this time, it has taken a parading shit…”
  • Thief Minister Neiphiu Rio today said the DoNER Ministry …’
  • ‘The valedictory function was graced by the Horrible Minister of Industry & Commerce Khekhio Zhimomi…’
  • ‘The horri’ble MLA alleged that his counterpart was denying the area development funds since…’
  • ‘When the Thief Guest arrived, the traditional screaming welcomed him…”
  • “Nagaland’s MRP to the Rajya Sabha Wangyuh Konyak …’
  • ‘General Secretary of the North East Students’ Organization NSCN Lotha…’  (Former NSF president NSN Lotha’s name regularly fall victim to Spoonerism and mistyping thanks to his initials’ visual affinity to the nomenclature of the NSCN. And especially for us the Press, when we get hundreds of statements from the NSCNs every second day, somehow our minds are always naturally browbeaten by habit!)

(This article was originally published in The Morung Express, September 7. 2011)

©2012 Al Ngullie ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This article contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Strange Newspapers; Stranger Media language

In an age full of news of violence, bloodshed and corruption and general human senselessness, today’s newspapers are a rich source of laughter

The task of print journalists, as they are, is a terrible taskmaster. Hide bad language skills underneath your tongue and your fingertips would promptly have your secret handicap screamed to thousand readers out of their morning tea chairs.

Worst, the clearer your printing machine’s resolution, the more unforgivable and bigger your mistakes seem.

No scholastic ‘transgression’ was greater than those committed in the print, thanks to the enduring quality of the printed word: A misprinted word that sticks an entire meaning on its head; misspellings that terrorize even the most indiscreet of readers; the contextually isolated detail that totally nullifies an entire story to naught. Or even the all-too-clichéd story in the name of human interest one bumps into (Read so-and-so undertakes “social work”).

A complex combination of those disasters can only mean readers have more stressful jobs reading than journalists do from writing. Naturally, when the horrors of newspaper language hits home, the conscious reader is conveniently assigned by newspapers the horrendous and involuntary burden of exercising his intellectual eyebrows with the timeless question: “what the heck was that again?”

Suddenly, the reader is left to do all the cleaning-up in the course of his intellectual quest. So – basically – the sleepy reader who lumbers out of his bed finds a terrible task awaiting him at the dining table other than the ‘normal’ bad news of blood and gore.

Caught in the never-ending swirls of everyday tragedies, Newspapers fail in keeping reminded of the one formidable pitfall so characteristic of this depressing job called Journalism. The ‘pitfall’ the Media has yet to recognize is the critical suspicion of the fussy reader attempting to digest an awfully tasteless, almost-bucolic writing style of reporters. Or an infuriatingly silly “fact” in a story passed off as “significant development” to perhaps score brownie points for the circulation mafia.

Any thing is OK or not?

Hungry detractors enjoy bad lingual menus just so to reassure themselves that even journalists come from wombs and not from Wordsworth’s pantheon.

In an age where lurid details of crime, corruption and deaths are the only news, today’s print journalism, ironically, serve readers with profuse amusement not even Santa and Banta can surpass.

So what might be the cause for errors and misprints, miscalculated news bytes or just plain intellectual idiocy that feed the morning reader with more than bad news? Bad salary, a disgruntled journalist might say. The high-stress nature of the profession, another may opine. Still, a third might as well assemble all the stress-points to explain the terror journalism brings to the peaceful lives of tea-sipping citizens.

But I believe fellow-journalists would agree on one thing: the blame is on the colorful array of individuals each of who edit press releases, each in their own exclusive styles.

You see, dear reader, Nagaland’s print media is invariably unlike other media organizations across the world (including India). Say, even in Guwahati media offices have specialized, task-specific and singular experts to work on each dimension of publishing. For instance, reporters field only stories; copywriters only rewrite stories; editors only edit and check, and proofreaders only proof-read and nothing else.

But for journalists in Nagaland, you could be chasing a story, the next minute you are copywriting piles of all nonsensical press releases from local organizations whose ambition is only to see their names in the print; the next hour you are editing the pages – or fetching paan for your editor.

All-in-one, period. So how do you reconcile and streamline a variety of individual language styles of 10 journalists into an identifiable, uncomplicated, identifiable format? Now you know the reason why Nagaland newspapers have stories (oh horror, even editorials!) that look like they were written by class-V students and still others that appear to be the work of Literature Analysts.

You read this article or not still now?

The anomalies nonetheless do give its failings a chance to scream out. Scream out to simply force fresh minds out of their morning teatimes. That is where the Grammar-stricken student would have to have blamed the ‘local’ media already.

Earlier, I was told about a comment left by a reader of The Morung Express on the Daily’s website edition. This particular reader had been relentlessly disparaging the language format and editing of The Morung Express, for a long time now. One thing that struck me was a suggestion made by this particular reader he had even advised us to “read” newspapers such as “The Times of India” and so on.

I understand one thing that the vehemently critical reader missed – that classics such as Jyoti Sanyal’s satiric book on Indian journalistic writings ‘Indlish,’ were inspired by the fuzzy, bucolic writing styles of newspapers such as The Times of India. You know the English of Press Trust of India (PTI) or TOI is (in)famous for – in fact they share similarity with the language of most reporters in Nagaland!

It is clear enough that the confusion of readers, generally, is not any gentler than that of the poor bag-eyed people who fill the morning’s pages. 

This is an age where print journalism – and its digital cousins, the web informatics and webnews – have come to adhere religiously to exclusive writing formats and styles.

And Nagaland’s (or India’s) media is a tragedy.

In an age of designer-hullabaloo India creates everyday, perhaps one has yet to find time for universal writing style applications: the Chicago Manual, AP Stylebook, Cambridge Handbook for editors, Oxford Style Manual, MLA Handbook, the Chicago Manual of Style and the APA style manual, the New York Print Handbook, the Associated Press Format, the Reuters’ or the BBC Handbook format.

From the Wall Street Journal to, say, the Hindustan Times, print media across the globe write in own (and strictly adhered-to) language styles. It would be a step ahead if newspapers in Nagaland do actually devise their own “language” formats as well.

(In the next article) I shall be introducing you to some of the weirdest, nuttiest and most intimidating of “English,” typos, grammatical errors and ‘misprints’ that ever escaped the eyes of our editors to land on your tea table.  

(This article was originally published in The Morung Express May 7, 2011)


©2012 Al Ngullie ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This article contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Sunday 5 August 2012

Elements of Journalism: Summary

In Summary, the ‘Elements of Journalism’ is a set of professional and ethical standards journalists are expected to fulfill in the course of dispensing news and information to the public. Equally, the set of ‘elements’ seeks to explain the larger positive goals of journalism. In other words, the intrinsic values of the very purpose and standard of journalism are summed up as the Elements of Journalism.

The ‘elements’ were first proposed by US journalists Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel in their popular book Elements of Journalism: What Newspeople Should Know and What to Expect. Published in 2006, the book is now considered the topmost authority for reference and resource for every journalist – and those aspiring to be one.

The Elements of Journalism Summarized

The Elements of Journalism lists a number of imperatives that represent the very spirit of Journalism, its purpose and goal. In nine lines, Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel summarizes the principles of responsible Journalism.
 
According to the book, there are nine elements of Journalism:

1.      Journalism’s first obligation is to the truth.
2.      Journalism’s first loyalty is to citizens.
3.      Journalism’s essence is a discipline of verification.
4.      Practitioners of journalism must maintain an independence from those they cover.
5.      Journalism must serve as an independent monitor of power.
6.      Journalism must provide a forum for public criticism and compromise.
7.      Journalism must strive to make interesting and relevant that which is significant.
8.      Journalism must keep the news comprehensive and proportional.
9.      Practitioners of journalism must/be allowed to exercise their personal conscience.
(Note: I have paraphrased some of the elements for clarity)

Summary

The ‘Elements of Journalism’ are not necessarily exceptions nor are they rules unto themselves. They are more of a rationalization of ethical paradigms, which completely represent the central tenets of purpose rather than intent, for journalists. They are pragmatic standards for newsmen as much as they are principles that embody the aspiration of peoples for a freer, more democratic, productive and progressive society.

©2012 Al Ngullie ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This article contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.